never-going-back

I never thought it could be so hard just to exist; That I would wake up and surprise myself just for Surviving another night.

I wanted to thank you for presenting me with the last straw. I know my worth, and I certainly deserve better. I'm letting go of you and everything I have ever felt for you. You didn't deserve for me to share my feelings with you, and you didn't deserve for me to share my body with you. Nor did you deserve my forgiveness... no. Saying "happy new year" and "I'm sorry" and "I missed you a lot" after you dropped off the radar for three months should not have been enough for me to forgive you and welcome you back into my life. I gave you my forgiveness and a second chance because I chose to have faith in you. I chose to see the good in you, and b

My friendships are not beautiful. I see other people posting pictures on social media of their beautiful friendships, perfect selfies taken with the most recent iPhone in flawless lighting they must have spent ages searching for. Sometimes I fall into the trap of envying their Instagram-worthy gatherings and city wanderings, where everyone is blonde and beautiful, with a halo of light gleaming through their hair or onto their sun-kissed faces, model bodies looking gorgeous in their hipster-trendy high-waisted jeans. But however on fleek their eyebrows are, however well they are "werk"-ing the newest addition to their endless wardrobes, their

How's your day been? I love this question because it's simple, Short and sweet, Loving and caring without seeming to weigh too much. There is a reason why we only ask about today. Because if we asked about this year, You may have been through a breakup Or lost a family member, Moved away from your friends, Or lost a job you needed. If we asked about this month, You may have let your bills pile up And struggled to make it to the end of the month without Borrowing money from people. You may have gotten sick because the weather is changing, Or been too busy at work to go out with friends. But if we ask about today, We have the potential to

He asks me why, and he sighs and shakes his head and says "oh girl", and he touches them and talks about them and says he likes them, or that he doesn't mind. He knows nothing. The other one understands. The other one knows that you can touch but you can't stare, you ask "why now?" or "why again?" or "what caused you to relapse?" but you don't ask "why?" because that is a pitifully juvenile and simple question for a thing that does not have a simple answer. And I have come to romanticize this thing, turned it beautiful in my mind, as my perception of beauty has warped over the years. Everything that is bad for me, the cuts and bruises, the j